


luthors do stupid things when they feel things

by deanslist



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, POST REVEAL THO, also i'm bad at tagging, and no happy ending, i'm just putting this on ao3 bc i'm a failure at saving my work in one place, so feel free to skip <3, there's no point to this one shot tbvh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanslist/pseuds/deanslist
Summary: “I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have done that. luthors do stupid things when they feel things.”alex, caught in between them, made a hasty escape with a soft excuse to get the hell out of there, leaving kara and lena all alone in the kitchen.





	luthors do stupid things when they feel things

**Author's Note:**

> yeet. everything i needed to say is actually in the tags. 
> 
> i am high on coffee at this point. cheers to all my struggling fellow students (regardless of level) out there!

“i’d like you to meet someone.”

kara turned to the sound of her sister’s voice, lips already splitting to her typical sunshine grin upon seeing the woman standing next to alex.

“hey!” she greeted in pure delight as she went in to give kelly a warm hug, but hesitated when she’s more than halfway into wrapping her arms around her. “oh, shoot! sorry, I should have asked first if it’s okay. i sometimes forget-”

kelly, who was smiling in a way that implied she found kara’s enthusiasm amusing more than anything, shook her head and stepped forward. “are you kidding me? bring it in!”

they hugged, and alex stood there, looking on for a rather proud smile on her face.

“glad to know you could make it to game night,” kara said as they pulled away. “though I don’t know why alex’s introducing you again. we’ve met before.”

“yes,” alex inserted. “but as james’ sister.”

“yes-”

“but not as my girlfriend, no.”

kara gaped at alex, then burst into yet another grin. “for real?!”              

alex nodded smugly, which earned her an elbow to the side. “a hundred percent.”

“oh, wow!” kara clapped her hands together, torn between envy and great joy for her sister. “I just—I’m so happy for you two!” she turned to kelly, reaching out to hold her hands. “thank you very much. it’s high time that someone comes into alex’s life and strap her down on the ground a little bit—”

kelly blinked, cheeks rising to a soft red, as alex widened her eyes at kara in warning.

“—you know? because she’s always all up there and stuff,” kara continued on, not knowing the possible implication behind her words. but she wasn’t an idiot, so she was bound to notice the silence. “… I just mean, you know, she needs someone to ground her a little—”

“we get it, kara,” alex interrupted while chuckling awkwardly. “it’s a little too soon for this whole  _strapping_ talk-”

kelly nudged alex’s side, kara raised an eyebrow, and alex cleared her throat again, cheeks a rich flaming red.

“… but, anyway, it’s new. we’re taking things slowly, but not  _too_  slow, so – yeah,” alex heaved a soft sigh, mostly out of relief more than anything. “but thank you, kara. we appreciate your enthusiasm.”

“we do,” kelly said, smiling up at kara despite the evident embarrassment still lingering in her actions. “anyway, I’ll go ahead and join the others. give you two some time to catch up.”

“okay,” alex said, barely keeping herself from leaning in and bidding kelly farewell with a kiss.

the sisters watched her leave, and only turned back to what kara was doing – arranging snacks in their respective bowls – when she was out of sight.

“so,” alex began and sighed heavily. “you’re really doing it tonight?”

kara pursed her lips tightly and nodded. “yeah. uh, yeah. i don’t want to drag it any longer. I said it before, no matter what the outcome, I will tell lena because she deserves to know the truth and… and I care for her.” she swallowed thickly and looked up at her sister meaningfully. “a lot.”

alex took her expression into consideration, allowing her eyes to linger and decipher whatever was going on in kara’s mind, before nodding her head slowly. “i guess, it’s been a long time coming, huh?”

kara hummed, then hesitated in the midst of sprinkling powdered cheese on a bowl of popcorn. “and… I’m telling her about—I’m telling her about my feelings.”

alex’s eyes snapped to her and blinked. “… are you sure?”

kara hummed whilst nodding slowly. “yeah.”

“does… lena know about what you plan on doing?”

“… I vaguely mentioned about me confessing something to her.”

alex stared at kara silently, swallowing the lump slowly forming in her throat as she considered any possible outcome of kara telling lena about her alter-ego and her feelings at the same time. it could go both ways, but alex didn’t even want to think about them.

not when kara was obviously already vibrating with her own nerves.

“right,” alex said slowly. “okay. well, whatever happens. I’m right here, okay? I’ll get us tubs of ice cream and ten boxes of pizza.” kara snorted softly, and alex smiled. “just in case, okay?”

“okay.”

.

.

.

 

lena arrived not long after they’ve arranged themselves in the living room. she brought with her two bottles of wine, and whilst the others were cheering about her contribution for the night, kara was mostly focused on how good lena looked like in simple sweater and jeans –  _tight_  jeans that complimented very delicious curves—

alex nudged her, obviously having noticed kara’s gawking, and the latter quickly immersed herself back in the group once lena had joined them.

as always, they were partners. if the others wanted to partner with new people, kara didn’t have any protest, but she would always rally for her place as lena’s pair, which of course led to many wins and silent grumbles from their companions because, well, obviously, it wasn’t fair for a genius ceo and an equally-genius-but-obviously-downplaying-it reporter to play against the others.

not that they’re not any good.

kara and lena were just the best when they play as a team.

so the games eventually slowed down and everyone was off to doing their respective activities. the boys were both immersed in deo-related topics while busy playing video games. kelly and nia were discussing something about a particular magazine that didn’t belong from catco—kara would talk about that with nia later—and lena was in the kitchen with alex, keeping leftovers in their respective containers while kara was tasked to take out the trash.

now, alex had long forgotten her reservations about the youngest and, definitely the only, good luthor a long time ago. she’d grown to trust lena over the last few crazy months, and so being in a room with her was easier than before.

yet she couldn’t help but notice the change in her stance, in the way she closed plastic lids and shoved them in drawers and cabinets. she couldn’t help but notice the way she’d look to the side, where the others were busy doing their own business, and look back down on whatever she’s doing with a deeper frown on her face.

her jaws would clench and unclench, and so would her fists, turning paler and then flushing red when the blood circulation would resume.

alex couldn’t help but notice that lena was  _hiding_  something beneath her pleasant smile, and she couldn’t help herself from bringing it up.

“are you okay?”

lena blinked and looked up at her as if only realizing that she was there for the first time. she swallowed and nodded her head, curling a subdued smile on her lips.

“I’m fine,” lena said, and nothing else.

still, alex wasn’t satisfied.

“I’m sorry about lex,” alex said softly with a sigh. “i know how hard it is to have your hands tainted with someone’s blood.”

“have you?” lena asked, looking so very defeated that alex couldn’t even entertain the idea of her mocking alex. “well, I suppose you have had your hands tainted with blood. you’re… you, after all.” she cleared her throat. “an agent, I mean. it’s bound to happen within the job.”

“no,” alex shook her head and looked down. “at the deo, we try our best to not harm anybody. we use weapons that don’t necessary  _kill_ , you know? most of them are for the purpose of subduing hostile aliens to bring them somewhere where they can’t cause harm.”

“then how?”

alex, probably already realizing that she’s said too much, pressed her lips tightly and shook her head. “nothing. it’s nothing. you’re right, yeah. it’s bound to happen in the job, but it happened once and up to this day, I still live with the guilt of doing it, even if it was necessary.”

lena was silent for a second or two, before her sigh sliced through the stillness of the kitchen. “i’m sorry that you had such an experience. as you said though, you did it because it was necessary and—” she swallowed slowly as she smiled solemnly. “so, I had to do it, too. for the good of this planet, you know? this planet will never be safe for as long as he’s still alive.”

there was a weight in lena’s words as she spoke, but alex didn’t dare pull more out of her. she knew how hard it was to talk about feelings, more than anyone in this room, really. she nodded, understanding lena more than she expected, and sighed as she looked back at lena to tell her that everything was going to be fine, that with lex gone, things were expected to sail smoothly from then on—

but there was a moment when lena’s eyes flickered to the side, and before she could turn to check what she saw, lena was stepping forward and pressing her lips against the agent’s.

there was a rather loud gasp – alex wasn’t sure if it was from her or from someone else or—

_shit. kelly._

but it was a sound quite loud enough for lena to seemingly snap out of it and step back, eyes round and wide, seemingly apologetic yet not at the same time. she had her fingers pressed lightly against her lips while alex was fumbling for something to say.

“i—I have a girlfr—” alex stammered, but lena beat her to it.

“no, no, please don’t say more. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what came over me,” lena said hastily, then looked to the side again, as if checking for something. this time, alex turned and felt all energy drain from her body.

there was kara, standing by the kitchen’s entrance, looking all levels of confused and angry.

“kara, this isn’t—”

this seemed to snap kara out of her shock, and the blonde shook her head whilst laughing awkwardly. “sorry, i—uh, I didn’t mean to walk into—I mean… lena, I’m sorry to break it to you but alex is—” kara looked at alex briefly, as if asking permission from her to say more, which she promptly gave. “she’s with someone. she’s with kelly.”

“alex did mention something about that,” lena replied softly, and then looked up at kara with a rather firm look in her eyes. “I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have done that. luthors do stupid things when they feel things.”

alex, caught in between them, made a hasty escape with a soft excuse to get the hell out of there, leaving kara and lena all alone in the kitchen.

 .

.

.

 

alex must have dragged kelly out of the apartment as soon as she reached the living room, because all of a sudden, everyone was bidding their goodbyes to two people who didn’t seem to exist outside their own little bubble.

the door closed with a soft click, and after what seemed like hours of just looking into each other’s eyes, kara and lena finally decided it was appropriate to look at something else.

kara walked closer, stopping at the opposite side of the center island, and placed her hands on the granite surface.

“you haven’t washed your hands, yet.”

kara looked at lena exasperatedly, but then softened her gaze as she spoke. “do you like alex?”

did she like alex?

 _no, not at all,_ lena thought to herself as she crossed her arms beneath her chest. “I already apologized for what I did.”

“that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“I like her just fine.”

“she has a girlfriend.”

“you said you needed to talk to me,” lena replied, instead. “we’re here now. let’s get to it.”

kara blinked owlishly at lena, as if not recognizing the woman standing before her.

“i—” kara cleared her throat. “well, I have something to confess.”

“you said that,” lena nodded, suddenly looking very tired now that she’d leaned against the counter. “I have a confession, too.”

“you do?” kara blinked. “what is it?”

lena smiled tiredly. “maybe you should go first.”

“no, no,” kara chuckled hesitantly. “let’s hear yours first.”

.

.

.

 

kara wasn’t sure how she got there, or why she was there in the first place. she wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt so out of place among the stars and the clouds in the sky. she wasn’t sure why she was feeling cold for the first time since donning her cape and saving lives as her other job.

right. it must be because she wasn’t wearing her suit and her cape. it must be because she was up in the skies as  _kara danvers_  instead of kara zor-el. it must be because of the tears streaming down her cheeks like a broken dam in the midst of a rainy season. it must be because of the regret that was weighing her down to the ground, so unlike the times she’d fly and feel so light and happy above the ground.

it must be because, just fifteen minutes ago, she lost her best friend and promised her that she’d leave her alone in exchange of lena not withdrawing her willingness to help the deo whenever her genius was needed.

not only her best friend, really. she lost the woman she loved before she could even have the chance of pursuing her and letting her feel the love she could offer to her. she lost lena before she could even apologize for never telling her about the truth of her identity sooner than now. she lost lena before she could even make up for all the mistakes she committed against the woman who only ever wanted to help and do good for everyone.

but she’s there, anyway.

she’s floating in front of lena’s office, knowing that it was where lena would most probably go after that their encounter. she’s floating in front of lena’s office and she’s already breaking her promise to her, yet even as the office lightened up as lena stepped into it, kara couldn’t find it in herself to fly away.

she stayed where she was floating, waiting for lena to acknowledge her presence one way or another. she even called her name, despite knowing that there was no way lena would hear her, but she did, anyway, hoping that it would somehow make the difference.

but it didn’t.

instead, the glass windows began to frost and in no time, lena was out of sight.

kara felt the disappointment creep from her toes up to her chest and it drained her of her energy and will to stay afloat that she wobbled a little bit before catching herself.

the office darkened, glass windows still frosted, still no sight of lena.

kara finally took that as her cue to leave.


End file.
